How Did We Get Here?

Back in the halcyon days of May, it was difficult to imagine a worse prime minister than Boris Johnson. Fortunately, the Conservative Party made up for the collective national failure of imagination, by appointing Liz Truss to the position. She managed to inflict as much damage on the economy and the British psyche in 44 days as her predecessor did in over three years. Mr Johnson, however, seems intent on regaining his crown. It is barely three months since he could not find enough friendly MPs to form a cabinet, but now it seems increasingly likely that 100 MPs are willing to thrust him back in to the limelight. If he does find sufficient backers, it is hard to see how he doesn't get back into office.

My imagination is not sufficiently developed to envisage what might befall the nation should that happen, but it can't be good. Whatever catastrophes the Conservative Party have visited on the nation over the past three years, it is beginning to look like they were just getting started. 

So how did we get here? Many have asked this question rhetorically, but after giving it some passing thought, I have arrived at the following explanation through a process of elimination. 

The roots can be traced back to the doctors' strike of 2016. Four years prior to that, the Conservative administration, decided that they would spare journalists who were prone to Spoonerism and moved a minister named Jeremy from Hulture Secretary to Health Secretary. Mr Hunt's time in this position was dogged by dubious use of statistics and controversial reforms.

By 2015, Mr Hunt decided that he would effectively cut doctors pay, by extending 'normal hours'. He claimed that no doctor would face a pay cut, but subsequently backtracked. In November 2015, he managed to unite the BMA, with 98% calling for strike action. Strikes followed in early 2016 and Mr Hunt achieved the dubious distinction of becoming the "most disliked" frontline British politician in February of that year.

That much is well-documented (thanks, Wikipedia). What is not so well documented is the conversation that must have taken place between senior Tories around this time. 

DC: Jeremy's not looking good is he?

GO: Well, no but...

DC: Go on...

GO: I reckon we can save his reputation.

DC: No way. Surely it is a lost cause now.

GO: No, honestly, I think I can think of a way of making him look competent.

DC: Really? Competent? Jeremy?

GO: Yep. It depends how far you are willing to go...

DC: Not a chance. Even if we were willing to trash the economy, humiliate then nation, obliterate public standards and destroy the Conservative Party, you couldn't make him look competent.

GO: Bet you a pound we can.

DC: You're on.

GO: Right, it's going to take a while. Let's start by having a referendum...